Even though Lowry seems to take pains to eliminate gender stereotypes in the society in The Giver, supporting the idea that everyone in the society is as similar to one another as possible, ideas about the differences between men and women still linger. Of course, it makes sense that girls are given “special undergarments” at age eleven, but it makes less sense that girls wear braids with hair ribbons until age nine. The hair ribbons are the only decorative element mentioned in the entire novel. Perhaps they are just used to distinguish girls from boys, ignoring the original, aesthetic purpose of hair ribbons. Another vestige of gender roles is the structure of the family units: though the roles of “mother” and “father” are not clearly defined, each family consists of a father, mother, sister, and brother. Since no one has sex, and the parents do not produce children together, the persistence of heterosexual couples is either a meaningless echo of the traditional nuclear family or an effort to provide both male and female children with appropriate role models. In any case, the community seems to appropriate some of the gender distinctions of pre-Sameness society, but uses them for entirely different purposes.

The Giver, however, seems to have more nostalgic, traditional notions about gender differences, or at least about femininity. His description of Rosemary emphasizes traditionally feminine qualities: she is beautiful, delicate, and sensitive. He has trouble giving her memories of physical pain and suffering, although he gives them much more easily to Jonas. Jonas, too, associates femininity with gentleness and fragility, even though his father is clearly more gentle and nurturing than his mother. When the Giver tells him about Rosemary, Jonas thinks that he would never want his “favorite female” Fiona to suffer as he has suffered, enduring the difficult memories. Perhaps the nostalgia that the Giver and Jonas feel toward the pre-Sameness period extends to the pre-Sameness traditions of gender differences.